Human beings have some really crazy mating habits and rituals, most especially when you get to know that there are many cultures that believe in so many things. In the same way, animals have animals also have their crazy side, that is why we want to look at some of the animals with worst mating rituals.
The purposes of mating for human is first of all pleasure, and then recreation. Animals aren’t left out in this. What’s weird is the mating ritual adopted by some animal species.
Here are some animals with worst mating rituals
1. Quolls: Bdsm Much?
Very few persons have seen, read, or heard about this native mainland Australian carnivorous marsupials. Well, it seems the author of fifty shades of grey took a good lesson from this violent animal.
All female quolls get the mood at the same time and there is usually a male struggle to have fast and numerous wild sex. In so doing, the males drag, scratch, bite, screech, kill and even eat their partners all in a bid to release plenty of sperm. Well, these males lose weight, become bald and die within a few weeks of their ruthless act. Karma is most definitely a female dog!
2. The Big Wild Orgies Of The Red-Sided Garter Snake
Life for these snakes can be very hard when it comes to the sex side of things. Of course as the woman, you are on the good side of things, but as a man, it is a jungle out there.
These snakes hibernate in a large number sometimes reaching up to 30,000. As the world thaws up and they disperse, their thoughts center around making out. Once a female joins a disintegrating crowd, about a hundred males jump her bones and form a large mating ball. The lucky guy gets the goods while the others sort themselves out just like it happens in human orgies.
3. The Sperm Lube Of The Red Velvet Mite
The male velvet mite definitely knows how to make a woman feel good, in every sense of the word. First, he leaves her a trail of pretty silk to come home to after a hard day at work or whatever they do. As she follows this trail, she hits pay dirt. A pile of sperm to calm down her nerves, if you know what I mean.
Consider this. If this happens to be humans, you may need to go and jerk off probably at your door so that when your partner is returning home, she will see it and get in the mood.
4. Flatworms
This may actually be the animals with worst mating rituals if you realize that the flatworms are hermaphrodite. What this means is that when they are set to have sex, they both have to get their penises fighting until one is able to get the other and get it pregnant.
Why life is hard for the flatworms when they want to have sex is that both the creatures prefer the role of the man, but either can be the woman so to be the man, the two have to do the penis fight. Lucky humans that nature has done the selection for us already.
5. Greet Each Other With A Holy Kiss Sex
The bonobos read the memo wrongly and replaced sex for kiss. They practically have sexual activities all the time with practically any bimbo, sorry bonobo. Interestingly, they engage in kissing, oral sex, masturbation, penis- fencing and even face-to-face private part sex, so much like humans. Scientists have ruled this to the bonobos evolving from the same ancestor as humans.
While many may consider them among those with the worst mating rituals, they spend almost all their time looking for sex or having sex. So most likely, the time you will get to see the bonobos you may get to see them taking some time out.
6. The Love Bugs Vow
Female lovebugs get hooked with the love of her life as she comes out of her pupal stage. No need for an altar, they just attach to each other and swear to never disengage till death do them part not even for flight or rest. Well, don’t blame them; they have barely three days to live the ‘sex’ life.
7. The Pant Wearing Female Hyenas
The female hyena is not just bigger, stronger and more aggressive, she is the ‘man’ of the house. She has an enlarged 7 inches clitoris which looks like a pseudopenis. The male has to find a way to insert his penis into hers for mating and she doesn’t even let him get his much-desired satisfaction before kicking him off. Well, she suffers a painful childbirth experience through her ‘penis’ so why not? 50/50 right?
8. The Large Female Fruit Flies
These interesting females leave behind a message as they die, ‘beware of sex’. Sadly they never heed to their own warning. In the past, they could mate with as many male lovers as they pleased but as more males couldn’t identify their offspring, some males called a meeting.
See Also: Seven (7) Animals That Die During Sex or Even After: Dying For Love
The consensus was a toxic sperm which either killed off other sperms that aren’t yours or make her lay almost immediately. Adversely, this reduced the females’ lifespan and reproduction.
9. The Giraffe In Estrus
Among the best animals with worst mating rituals has to be the male giraffe which has to work hard to get laid. Firstly when he sees a beautiful giraffe damsel, he has to nudge her repeatedly with his long neck so she produces urine. Next, he gulps down a big mouthful of the urine to ascertain the taste.
A sweet taste leads to courting or better put, a barraging for sex. Once the female gives in, the banging begins. What this means is that a male giraffe can taste the urine only to find out that she is not his match.
10. Garden snails
What if you have a male and a female sex organ just like the flatworms? You may just be another Garden snail, and trust me, you will find yourself on most list of animals with worst mating rituals. Why so? Instead of fighting to see who would bow and become the woman like in flatworms, they would shoot their penises, which are very sharp and located on their necks to release sperm and fertilize the eggs of each other.
But it may not be as easy as that, since the penises are sharp and they shoot around the neck, the bad news is that things can get rough and fatal.
So much for sex!
