Can we get the nostalgic euphoria down a little bit? It is 2017, Japan has gone 7G, we are moving past 3D and Nokia is bringing back Nokia 3310. That shouldn’t be absurd, but it turned out to be.
Admittedly, people are still buying pet rock, which as the name implies is real rock (stone) which is supposed to do nothing except make you pretend or even believe it has life and can replace your dog as a pet. Still, with the Nokia 3310, I believe Nokia is only trying to play a fast one.
Like real intelligent marketing fast one. Either side of your coin will show you tails if you throw it, and either side will show Nokia heads if they throw. Because you are only buying something you may not need at the end of the day, and Nokia is not selling a product but the hype of the product. Is this making any sense, please?
Here are some reasons why you should not buy the Nokia 3310:
You can’t use it to break coconuts
the old Nokia 3310 was a groundbreaking phone. Literally, I mean. If it falls, the ground will break. That is why most of us love that phone, and that is why we want it back. The bad news is that with the new 3310, you can’t even break coconuts if you need the juice badly. Trust me, it is not rugged as you may wish it is.
It is nothing more than name and shape
Maybe you have never thought of it this way, but what Nokia has produced is just another cheap phone with the distant shape of the old phone and they decided to call it Nokia 3310 for buyers. If you don’t think this way, ask yourself, what this phone has in similarities with the old one apart from the name, and you will see that the answer is a resounding nothing.
It is 2G
Nokia is successfully telling you to hop up the bicycle and travel, even when the world is getting serious about traveling in tubes. In this age of fast information and live streaming of movies and music, when we are even complaining that 3G is lazy, what this phone is presenting on a platter of nostalgia is 2G.
It may soon be useless
While this is linked to the above, it is different. The truth of the matter is that the phone may soon be useless as various telecommunication networks around the globe have started shutting down 2G services. American networks including Verizon are planning to end the 2G network. In fact, Verizon is planning to shut down its 2G CDMA network by the end of 2019.
The Keys
Why do I think Should Not Buy The Nokia 3310 because of the keys? Because it will take you to the past and give you the experience of the past, and it will leave you there to struggle your way back to the future. That is exactly the way it is since the phone has nothing serious as regards the present times.
Camera
The first thing you should digest now is that it has no front camera. Are you done? The second is that its main camera is made with a 2MP camera. If you love pictures or selfies, Nokia is trying to separate you from that with this phone. I can imagine the number of people who will tell you ni thank you when you attempt to snap their present in the past with this camera.
The Design
You don’t have to be a cry baby before the design of this phone will make you cry. Since the phone has nothing in features to show, you would expect Nokia to give it a killer design. The company has failed in that too.
We have to give it to the phone about its portable design, but we didn’t find it to be friendly or in the least, beautiful.
It doesn’t bring anything special to the table
Seriously, I think one serious reason why you should not buy the Nokia 3310 is because it doesn’t bring anything special, except the nostalgia you may not even get when you start using it. I was actually thinking it will be special in the way Nokia Symbian phones were special.
Wrong of me to think!
Forget about social media Apps
If only Nokia has a bus that could drive us back to the stone age before Mark Zuckerberg left school. How is it fair for this phone to come without basic social media applications including WhatsApp missing?
You also don’t get to have things like Snapchat, Facebook Messenger, or any modern messaging app on the phone. On the bright side, however, it is the right drug you need for your social media addiction since it has very slow network and it comes with no social media apps.
Did you miss this: 5 Worst Android Phones Ever Made: Flop in Design and Functionality
Finally, The Price
At £41 you are buying this phone at close to N20,000. Have you seen it? For half of that, you will not get a jet or even a Ferrari, or even a very big phone, but you will get a techno Android or one of the better phones than the 3310. Congrats Nokia, for selling Hype expensively.
Oh my God, I Almost forgot the memory size
if I’d let you guess sixteen times on the memory size of this phone, you would guess wrong sixteen times. That is because no one would have ever believed Nokia would release a phone in 2017 with an internal memory space of 16 MB. Yes, Sixteen megabytes.
That is less than some small quality five minutes videos on youtube. They want you to store 2000 contacts on the phone, and that is all. Well, it has a slot for 32 GB MicroSD card, but of what use would that be, since you cannot download or play videos on it, with its small screen.
That being said, here are the only reasons we can find why you should buy the phone:
You were born after the first 3310
So you were born after the first Nokia 3310, you must have heard about the epic phone that was on fire, and may just be today’s Samsung Galaxy (not literally, though). You have heard of how children used their father’s phones to pluck mangoes from trees.
If you are the one. and you really want to tell people that are coming many years from now that you also used the Nokia 3310, you can as well buy it now before it runs out of stock.
If you need an extra phone for your calls only
If you need something mostly for calls, you can as well buy the Nokia 3310. While we don’t see it as a phone that will perform, it will be decent enough for making and receiving calls.
At least this will even come with the bonus of songs, as it allows you to slot in a memory card of up to 32 GB. But of what use would that be?
You are a Nokia fan with some cash to throw around
If you are among those with Nokia DNA who has a little cash to spare to the tune of what Nokia is asking for the phone, why not?
You are old and want to protest the advancement in phone technology
Your case is very legitimate if you are buying this phone in protest to against the advancement in phone technology. I also sometimes think the thing is moving too fast that we may need it to pause a little so we can understand. But I think sticking with Nokia Symbian phones, which by the way are some of the best phones ever made, is a better way to protest if you can find the phones.
You want to get a feeling of the old and new wine in the same glass
Is it really worth it with this Nokia phone? Two things to know is that this is no wine, and sometimes the wisest thing to do is go for the old wine or simply stick with the new. You can’t force yourself into a child’s cloth and think it will give you the feeling of childhood again.
For Children
With due respect, the Nokia 3310 actually looks like a toy to me. It will therefore not be bad if you decide to buy one and let them have it. It won’t be a cheap toy, though.
Fingers crossed, I just hope that when the phone is bought and the hype is down, that Nokia will not lose the market with people who have bought the phone with their last cash only to see they can do nothing with it.
